5. Mad Dog hates two groups of people.

He should learn to hate more.

Really, he should. Mad Dog could make the world a better place.

4. Mexican standoffs are rarely lethal.

Surprisingly nobody ever dies from John Woo’s trademark standoffs, but damn are they dramatic.

3. It’s sadder when Mad Dog dies than when innocent hospital patients get slaughtered.

When Mad Dog wanted to spare the patients, over-the-top crime boss Johnny Wong just had to wipe them out. Mad Dog’s sense of honor kicked in and he redeemed himself by trying to stop Johnny. The problem was he ran out of bullets (in a John Woo movie?!) and that cheap bastard Johnny killed him.

Mad Dog got a raw deal.

2. SAVE THE BABIES!

Because the children are our future. Plus you never know when your pants might catch on fire and you need a baby to pee down your pant leg.

1. Give a guy a gun, he thinks he’s Superman. Give him two and he thinks he’s God.

The moral of Hard Boiled and pretty much every John Woo movie is that two is twice as good as one. You’ve got two hands don’t you? So you might as well shoot two guns and do stuff like this: