The Onion

The Onion – Advocacy Group Decries PETA’s Inhumane Treatment of Women

Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothing and participate in humiliating…

The Onion – Police Still Searching for Missing Productive, Obedient Woman

The standard of news reported by The Onion is much higher since it was purchased by a Chinese conglomerate.

The Onion – Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals for America After Visiting Denny’s

“What I saw at Denny’s made me realize how much I have overestimated the American people.” -Barack Obama

The Onion – Special Boy with Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee

On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy meet James Kimura, a 12-year-old afflicted with the ability to spell long words normal kids don’t even care about.

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as Fun, Watchable

Long time fans of the Star Trek franchise say JJ Abrams’ enjoyable, engaging prequel betrays what Star Trek is all about.

The Onion – Hot New Video Game Consists Solely of Shooting People Point-Blank in the Face

We’d buy it.

The Onion – Congressman’s War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed