zombies

The Onion

The Onion – Stouffers to Include Suicide Prevention Tips on Single Serve Microwavable Meals

Stouffers says the suicide prevention tips are available on all single serving microwavable dinners whether you enjoy veal parmigiana alone or beef stroganoff alone.

Related

The Onion – Advocacy Group Decries PETA’s Inhumane Treatment of Women

Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothing and participate in humiliating...

Related

The Onion – Police Still Searching for Missing Productive, Obedient Woman

The standard of news reported by The Onion is much higher since it was purchased by a Chinese conglomerate.

Related

The Onion – Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals for America After Visiting Denny’s

"What I saw at Denny's made me realize how much I have overestimated the American people." -Barack Obama

Related

The Onion – Special Boy with Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee

On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy meet James Kimura, a 12-year-old afflicted with the ability to spell long words normal kids don't even care about.

Related

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as Fun, Watchable

Long time fans of the Star Trek franchise say JJ Abrams' enjoyable, engaging prequel betrays what Star Trek is all about.

Related

The Onion – Hot New Video Game Consists Solely of Shooting People Point-Blank in the Face

We'd buy it.

Related